The first and foremost quality that we should seek in a friend is someone who is intelligent. It doesn’t mean that every friend we have has to have studied at Harvard or Oxford (although it might help), the person ought to have a certain degree of common sense and wit about them.
For, when we seek advice from and consult with our friends, they should advise us in the best possible way, taking into consideration all of our circumstances.
Sometimes a person’s simple mindedness may actually end up harming you, instead of attempting to benefit you. Especially if they are incredibly close to you
But also remember that, a person’s intelligence is not dependent on their qualification or profession.
The person whom you befriend should have good akhlaaq and adab. There is immense sincerity in a friend who is your friend for no ulterior motive or personal gain.
These are the people who will know your faults, and love you still the same, and when you mess up these are the people who are there for you, even if you don’t live up to their expectations.
Which leads on the next point.
3. Religious minded.
For a person to be truly selfless they have to be pious. When you give so much of yourself to someone or something you need to take form somewhere. We Muslims take our spiritual strength from the Deen.
There are three reasons to choose a pious friend.
If the person is not careful about the rights of Allah how will they be careful about your rights, a mere Insaan.
If a person has bad habits, you eventually become desensitized to their sins, even if you don’t take part in the sin itself.
Eventually their bad characteristics will rub off on you, and will lower your bar of spirituality.
A truly righteous persona is often associated with a person’s ability to make others feel comfortable and secure in their company.
Deen is not just about having a beard or wearing niqaab. Yes, its part of the Deen and an important part of the Deen, but it’s not ALL of the Deen.
A lot of the Deen is focused one what lies in the heart of a person and a truly righteous person will be a support for you, in ways that others won’t.
4.They don’t tell lies.
If a person, in whose company you sit talks about others and does gheebah, then be assured they will do the same about you elsewhere.
We all seek a true friend…the operative word is true.
If you are not true you cannot be truthful.
If you want a true friend, then they need to be truthful person first.
If a person has an ability to lie constantly, and then you cant trust that person, and be weary of taking them as your friend.
5.The whose heart is not immersed in the Dunya.
If you sit in the company of someone who has love for the dunya, they will take that love and transfer it into your heart.
It doesn’t mean they can’t be wealthy. There are many wealthy people who are truly righteous and simple, and there are many poor people whose hearts are immersed in the love of the dunya.
A good sign to look out for is to listen what they talk about all the time. The things a person say is often a manifestation of what is important to them.
And talking about the trends in xyz will distract you from the worship of Allah swt in a very powerful way.
The type of pleasure, support and comfort you find in a true friend is something that is very special and brings a lot of happiness to the heart.
May Allah bless us all with spouses that are our garments in the true sense. Ameen.