When a person experiences love, their whole life changes and they feel two extremes:
– a sense of joy which can get so extreme where you feel that you can accomplish anything;
– feeling hopeless, exhausted and sad because the ‘other half’ isn’t there.
The person usually experiences no.1 when they are with the person that they love or after they have met with them, and the person experiences no.2 if they haven’t contacted them for a while, or if it had ended.
When a person really has fallen for someone, they feel that their whole life is surrounded around them. They may even obey that person in matters which contradict islaam, which obviously isn’t the right thing to do.
There are 4 types of love:
1) Divine Love – which is specifically for Allaah alone and none should be loved divinely more than Allaah.
2) Love for the sake of Allaah, which is love for the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the companions and the righteous etc.
3) Love of the permissible: wives/husband, children, parents etc. or love of food, water, clothing etc.
4) Love of any other deity besides Allaah, such as something which contradicts what Allah has ordered us to do etc. which isn’t permitted.
1) The person has to have divine love for Allaah only, which is compulsory in islaam. It is not permitted that a person’s love for anything else goes against the commandments of Allaah.
2) We also have to love the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) more than we love ourselves – this is needed in order to perfect faith. [check tafsir ibn kathir Qur’an 9:24]
3) The 3rd love is a permissible love but it can either lead to sin [if the person disobeys Allah in order to please the creation] or it can lead to reward if the believer has the intention of pleasing Allah.
4) The 4th love is what stops a disbeliever from coming closer to Allah, it may be something else worshipped instead of Allah, such as an idol, a person, the persons desires etc. We should seek refuge in Allah from this.
Most people who fall into haraam love usually don’t understand islaam properly. They might start off with desire, and gradually be played into falling in love with the person. However, one has to realize that no love is real, no love is really lasting – unless it is done for the sake of Allah. This is why love which is done while disobeying Allah is usually broken, ends up in hurt, and both people usually end up as enemies, or go down other evil after this, unless Allah saves them and blesses them in hidaayah (guidance).